I’m walking thru a large Mexican restaurant at around lunch time. There’s a huge buffet being set out. There are enormous trays filled with chicken breasts interspersed with onions and leafy greens. There are trays of slabs of beef, and carnitas, and I see a huge plate made in the shape of a sombrero filled with pinto beans. I’m thinking that this is one of the most fantastic buffets I’ve ever seen but there’s hardly anyone in the restaurant.

I go over to a table and the people there don’t have any hot sauce. I ask them if they’d like some Tapatio and they do, but I look around and don’t see any. I walk into the bar and there on the bar is a bottle that’s mostly full so I ask the bar tender, who’s a short, clean shaven Mexican man in his 50’s. I ask him if I can have the hot sauce on the bar and he says, “No.” I say, “Please.” He says, “No.” I just can’t figure out why this guy won’t let me have this bottle unless it truly is the last one…

I remember being in the darkness, staying in a baby blue VW bus. I can kind of make out a candle burning with very little light. There’s something peaceful about it. We’re traveling somewhere tho I’m not sure where. The next day, I’m climbing over other cars like they’re all packed to together on train flatbeds. I’m trying to make it back to the bus which is complicated. I have a medallion like the biogeometry medallion. I know that it radiates outward 6 feet. I barely make it to the bus and Kevin is there with a couple guys I don’t know. I walk up on put him onto a mattress that’s lying behind him; my way of saying hello. I haven’t seen him in a day or two and wonder where’s he’s been. Reminds me of when we were together and he’d do something similar and it was like he didn’t care.

I’m a young girl with long blonde hair. I’m maybe 12 or 13 years old, and I’m being moved from one place to another by someone who I think is my mom and a man whom I don’t know. I have a large duffle bag and a smaller bag with me that I dragging along on the street as we walk. Even tho I don’t know the man, I have a strange feeling about him that I can’t put my finger on. He’s trying to help me, but underneath, there’s a threat.

We’re standing at a street corner and we’re waiting for a light. I feel that there isn’t much time to move me to the new location so I’m confused why he insists that we stay on the corner thru an entire changing of the street light while other pedestrians cross. I sit down on my duffle bag to take a load off my feet and wait for the next round of lights to change. Suddenly, I’m pulled with my bags into some sort of combination of elevator, pulleys, stamps, and gear mechanisms. All of the steel gears and mechanisms are huge and I’m be moved this way and that, challenged to keep my balance and hold onto my bags. The gears and stamps are so large that I’m afraid I’ll be crushed. No sooner do I find a place that seems safe to position myself that I find another bar or shifting of stamp platforms is throwing me into harm’s way. The gears are churning and I’m barely hanging onto my bags with one hand while holding onto the only place that seems safe, but knowing that this last refuge on a platform is getting smaller and smaller and falling into an abyss is that last place to go.

I’m heading off to a new school. I’m not sure what kind of program it is, but we’re going to be taking a van or bus of some sort and where with our parents and teachers, getting ready to leave. I’m probably in my late teens or early twenties. My mom has brought me a bunch of boxes of Christmas decorations. Although the decorations are really cool and there are a couple of simple things I’d like to use to decorate to make me feel more at home, there are WAY too many of them. I tell this to Brad, and I’m trying to be cordial in telling my Mom, but she’s really sensitive and I’m having a hard time telling her. The other students don’t have nearly as many boxes as I do and I’m trying to explain to her that there just isn’t enough room on the bus/van to move this stuff and that there are other students that have things that need to be moved on our trip.

I’m driving an old pickup and on my way to the parts store that I always go to. I’m expecting to see Robert just like I did when I had my mini. I drove down the street where the shop is but somehow missed it. I decide to drive around the back and come in thru the alley but when I get to the end, there are blue poles stuck in the ground right where the street is and the alley ends so that I can’t enter the street. I put the truck in reverse because I’m going to have to back out of the alley because there’s nowhere to turn around. I realize that my mirrors are completely out of adjustment so I can’t see really well. I take a couple of moment to adjust the mirrors and back out of the alley. I pull around the front again and realize that the truck shop is now a completely different business. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been here but now I’m wondering what happened. Across the street is another auto mechanic and parts shop so I go over there to see if I can get some info. The man who’s running the place is helping a beautiful blonde woman and isn’t ready to pay attention to me but he’s giving directions to her for another shop she needs to go to so I’m listening to see if there’s a connection.

Mel and I are in an airport far too early for our flight. I think we book the flight but don’t really know what our flight times are. I here a gate call for our flight and walk over to the gate but I look around and Mel isn’t there. I ask a flight person about where our flight is and she says 7:20pm. I look at my clock and it’s only 5:40pm. I realize that I have a great position in line but I want to know where Mel is so I leave the area and try calling him on the cell but I only get voice mail. I’m concerned that he’s mad at me for leaving him somewhere.

Mel and I are sitting on a bed in a large bedroom. There’s a guy and girl in the room with us. I would say their ages were 20 something. The guy is a bit on the chubby side, maybe 5’10”, the girl smaller than that with short, dark hair. The guy gets up and walks over to where I am on the left side of the bed and suddenly he’s naked with an erection.

I was supposed to meet Kirby somewhere. He’d agreed to travel somewhere with me that Mel couldn’t go. I stopped into a town and was looking for a motel to stay in. I found one next to the freeway but when I looked around, it wasn’t too savory. There were nice houses around in the neighborhood but the motel itself was a little trashy. I was thinking that Kirby wouldn’t like it, and I wasn’t too fond if it myself.

I drove to the other side of the freeway past a beautiful tudor style house with the lights on that looked like it jumped out of a Kinkade painting. The motel wasn’t terrible. I parked and walked up too it. There was an outdoor cafe that was serving and I was hungry so this was a big plus. I started to walk toward the office. It was night and I didn’t see anyone there but looked upstairs and noticed some people leaving a room. One of them told me that they were checking out and gave me the keys to all the vacant rooms so that I could look at them.

I checked out the upstairs room but wasn’t all that crazy about it, so I went looking for room “G” as indicated on the next key. I walked downstairs and into a large room off of the office where there were a few people sitting. They asked me if I needed help but I told them that I would be ok, thinking that it would be simple to find the other rooms. That turned out to not be the truth. The layout of the building was so utterly confusing that I walked into a broom closet at one point to the entertainment of those around. I found other rooms, but not G. Some of them were next to maid’s stations, another next to a restaurant, one way across the swimming pool all by itself. The only way I could find “G” was to ask someone who directed me into a large game room filled with noisy people playing air hockey. Way on the other side of this room was G, and as I walked to it, the arcade was closing and people were leaving.

I walked into G and it was a round room with pillows on the floor, and racks of clothes that I would assume were for sale. It was very strange. I rummaged thru the clothes because they were really colourful, but that all seemed to be for children or women. I left the room.

I’m setting up a sound system and doing electrical maintenance at some sort of club. There are lots of things to do and I’m doing them all naked. It seems reasonable at the time but then I’m in an office across the main room for a long time and the club opens. By the time I make it out of the office, the club is filled with lots of people and I’m still naked. Everyone knows that I’m busy and most people have seen me before so I just continue walking thru the club naked. It’s just how it is. I feel a little strange being the only naked person so when I reach the other side of the club, I walk into a warehouse section to see if there are any clothes I can put on. The warehouse is all white and brightly lit and there’s a worked in there. I see really large pairs of jeans all over the floor. They must be size 46 and above. I ask the worker about them and he tells me they were a donation for bill people. There’s definitely nothing I can wear so I walk into another part of the warehouse. Hanging high up are oilskin overalls in a camel colour. I climb up the rack from which they’re hanging because they’re really high up. I want to see if I can get a pair down and try them on. From the floor, they look really cool, but they also look pretty large.

I’m sitting at a picnic table outside of a house with some folks from Lightsong. We’re chatting and I look up into the large oak tree that we’re sitting under and there’s a very large hummingbird. I’m struck by how large it is, probably the size of a robin. It has a thick black beak and purple, green, and magenta feathers. It’s amazingly colourful and I watch it with amusement because it’s so oversized for a hummingbird which slows down it’s movement. I tell the others about it and mimic it’s slow moving wings with figure eight motions. I ask it if I can have a feather as it jumps from branch to branch. It’s now right overhead, and flies away, leaving the most exquisite feather for me, that gracefully descends down to the end of the table. I ask the person next to me to hand it to me and I thank the bird for this gift. I look back up into the tree and realize there are more beautiful feathers there. I look back to the feather and it’s now attached to a construction of other feather and colourful materials, but inside is a wooden frame with nuts and bolts holding it together, as if it were a man-made wing.

The group I’m with gets up and moves to another location and starts doing a sort of song practice. While I listen to them sing, something catches my attention, like a large cast iron machine, similar to a Singer sewing machine. I look back and the singing disbands.
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This is the night after the Lowanpe ceremony. I awaken and receive a beautiful prayer song in Lakota.