I was in this large pueblo style building. There was a ceremony just getting ready to begin. There were lots of people and beautiful crafts and flowers everywhere. I was with Lauri and she was going to be leading the procession. I was going to be drumming and sing with her, and start the procession. I was given a drum that had the same insignia as Jan’s on it, except that this was really weathered. Something in me reminded me that I used to repaint this drum before the ceremony, but this time I hadn’t gotten to it. I didn’t have a beater and asked Lauri for one. She came back with this elaborate beater that had bead on it that make a whoosh sound. I went to the front of the line and was introduced to some other drummers that were carrying large standup drums. I realized that I couldn’t remember if I was to be playing and single or double beat. I felt like I was supposed to know this and felt embarrassed to ask. I was waiting to get the signal to start but it wasn’t coming. I felt myself moving farther and farther from the front of the procession, until I was out in the street, still waiting. It was a weird sensation.

Players: Me, Lauri, some drummers
Event Sequence: Receiving drum, receiving beater, introductions, left out in street
Symbols: drum, beater, ceremony, pueblo, colorful
Thoughts: performance anxiety, leadership, responsibility